Weary Wanderer

Oh, friends, where to begin. I certainly hope this blog post finds you … well?? Who even knows what to say anymore. I hope this blog post finds you … sane? The answer to that probably depends on a number of factors, including where you live. Who you live with. What your work situation is. And any number of other things that we could have never known would have such an impact on us for such an extended period of time.

For my own part, 2020 has been, like most people, a series of highs and lows. (But, let’s be honest, mostly lows.) My last trip was in February, and while I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to take that trip — and with Lotte, no less — I sure do miss travel. And my family. And regular life. We had to postpone indefinitely a trip to Spain with Chris’ parents that we had all really been looking forward to, not to mention all the other little trips throughout the year that we likely would have taken, back to New York to see friends and family, to the mountains, to other states. Who knows. What 2020 could have been isn’t worth contemplating. In the meantime, besides travel, my grandmother passed away from Covid, and because I live in Colorado, I had to miss her memorial. I missed my nieces baptism. I missed my Mom’s annual MS fundraiser. We’ve missed holidays (and probably will continue to miss holidays) with friends and family. We’ve had low moments at home, moments of exhaustion and frustration and sadness. We’ve cried. Lotte has missed out on a year’s worth of preschool experiences, learning and making friends. My heart broke the other day when she leaned in before bed and whispered, “Mom, I’m lonely.”

Amidst the sadness, we’ve managed to have some of the most amazing moments, as well. With Chris working from home, he’s spent way more time with the girls than he ever was able to in the past, and he’s home for dinner every single night. (Hell, he makes dinner every single night 😉 We’ve gone out of our way to find new, fun, hopefully empty places to explore. I met two big career milestones (you can read them here and here), all while trying to keep my kids entertained and ignore a worldwide pandemic. Plus, above all else, I’m pregnant. Pregnant with our third and final child, in a world that has forced me to attend every doctor’s appointment by myself (with Chris on Facetime) and in a mask. Throughout the lows and highs, we’ve tried hard to keep breathing, and to focus on the here and now, the things that we can control, whatever little that might be. The girls are healthy. We are healthy. We are incredibly lucky to be in a position where Chris and I can both work from home, and keep the girls home until we feel safe enough to send them back to school.

And for now, that’s all that really matters. I’m thinking of all of you, and livin’ on a prayer that this will all be a memory in the near future.

Bis bald, friends.

^^Pretending to be ballerinas and dancing to scenes from the Nutcracker have become a pandemic activity favorite.

^^ So incredibly thankful that we moved before the pandemic, and that we have this amazing play area in the backyard for the girls to get their energy out on!

^^ Also thankful for all of the wide open spaces that Colorado provides.

^^ Not gonna lie — we haven’t minded having Chris around more to cook, either …

^^ We are such huge fans of the zoo, so we were so happy when they finally opened back up, allowing only small groups of people in at once, all of whom must be wearing masks.

^^ We’ve met up twice with friends and their kids, which was glorious for the kids, and only somewhat nerve-racking for the adults.

^^ Lotte has really missed flying, so I took the girls out to the airport one morning, parked in a nearby parking lot, and we watched the planes take off. It was gloriously delightful. 

^^ So far we’ve had my birthday, both Mother’s and Father’s Day, and Lotte’s birthday during quarantine. Chris is next in October, then G in December. I’m most proud about the fact that Lotte had a great birthday, complete with a masked-up trip to The Wild Animal Sanctuary. 

^^ Lotte started her virtual preschool classes today, which is this final picture. I’m so incredibly sad that she won’t be in-class making actual, face-to-face friends, but I’m so incredibly grateful for a school that even offers virtual preschool, a teacher who is trying her darnedest to make it fun, and for the fact that she’ll be able to connect with other littles her age, albeit virtually, at least until the new year.