As you’ll likely recall if you’ve been here for a bit, last year we had the most amazing holiday plans. We met up with my in-laws in Europe for what affectionately came to be called, “A Very Merry European Connor-Lock Christmas!” We hit up the Christmas markets in Germany and France, ate chocolate in Basel, Switzerland, and soaked in a hot tub outside of our Airbnb in Iceland.
I had spent months planning for this trip. I researched the best, kid-friendly Airbnb’s close to all the best markets. I made sure our rental car would be big enough for our group and rugged enough for potential wintery terrain. I compiled every possible detail into a Google document that I shared with family so they would always know where we were on a given day (and, let’s be honest, could provide information to the cops if we were kidnapped).
When it came to research and preparedness, I left no stone unturned. Yet, for a good month leading up to our trip, my anxiety was getting the best of me. I’d sit up at night paralyzed by the “what ifs.” Strep was swirling around my girls’ school in the weeks before we flew out. My youngest daughter has food allergies. We didn’t speak any of the languages in the countries we would be visiting. Our itinerary included a lot of driving, and all three of our girls have been known to suffer from car sickness. The holiday markets would be crowded, and let’s just say a fear of crowds is common these days.
Holiday stress — whether it’s centered around illness or something else — is common. According to a poll from Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center and College of Medicine, 53% of Americans were stressed from increased cases of flu, COVID and other respiratory illnesses heading into the 2023 holiday season, while another 44% were stressed from memories of holiday travel meltdowns from the year before.
“Many parents experience travel anxiety, and it’s completely normal,” said Dr. Ari Aal, a psychiatrist with Delos Psychiatry in Boulder, CO. “The mix of excitement, detailed planning, and the inherently unpredictable aspects of traveling with kids often leads to stress. This is especially true during holiday seasons, when there’s extra pressure to make everything perfect for the family.”
As you all know by now, our Grand European Holiday Adventure went off without a hitch. Still, it sure would have been nice to enjoy it with less emotional baggage. To that end, I tapped Dr. Aal for some tips that might help alleviate that anxiety for our next big adventure.
Learn some mindfulness techniques
It’s beneficial for parents to practice mindfulness with their children, says Dr. Aal. “Simple activities like breathing exercises or guided visualizations can be really effective in calming nerves for both adults and kids.” The Headspace and Calm apps offer great guided ones for beginners.
Practice smart use of technology
Embrace apps that make travel fun and interactive, like those that turn travel into a game or provide engaging itineraries. “This keeps the kids occupied and can help parents stay organized,” said Dr. Aal. Something like Roadtrip Bingo — a scavenger hunt for road trips — would have been great on our recent driving heavy trip, for example.
Establish a travel ritual
Creating a family tradition — like hunting down a souvenir in each spot you visit to put in a special place when you get home — can transform the journey into something enjoyable and less daunting. Plus, it becomes a comforting, familiar activity that everyone in the family can look forward to, said Dr. Aal. It can also provide a great distraction during times of stress while traveling.
Learn to love a checklist
Using checklists for everything from what needs to be packed to what needs to happen the day of travel helps get rid of the feeling that you may be missing something, says Dr. Aal. “In his book “The Checklist Manifesto,” Atul Gawande explores how the use of checklists has decreased errors in diverse tasks from surgery to engineering,” he said. “Most importantly, it lowers anxiety during the travel experience.”
Set boundaries
Even on a long trip, remember that you can’t do every activity that is available to you … you also need time to relax and recharge. “Set clear boundaries on how much you will commit to on the trip and how much downtime you need,” says Dr. Aal. “When you are clear with everyone on what your limits are, there is less of a chance that they will be crossed.”
Now, as our next trip gets ready to unfold — a big ole’ adventure Down Under — I’ll be keeping those expert tips in mind. (And, perhaps, making room in our travel planning this year for a less stressful staycation in the near future, as well.)