We brought one of the twins to visit my mom’s grave the day before her actual anniversary. Having a little one with us provided just the right level of humor to the proceedings.
Happy Monday, friends. I hope you’re all doing well.
I got back late last night from a five-day trip out to New York. While NY always fills my cup, this particular visit brought with it a certain level of sadness.
Yesterday was the 10-year anniversary of my mom’s passing.
Ten years flies by in the blink of an eye. As with most things, ten years feels both like yesterday and an eternity ago. So incredibly much has changed in those ten years. My mom now has six grandbabies, none of whom she got to meet, all of whom she would be obsessed with.
I wasn’t sure how I would feel about this trip, or what I would end up wanting to do on her actual anniversary, but I’m so glad I went. Seeing my New York friends and family is always the best time. It makes me so incredibly grateful that I get to both live in a place I love, while still traveling back relatively frequently to see them.
My sister just bought a new house, and my niece didn’t start her new school until the Friday of the week that I was visiting. That meant that I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with her, which was honestly so lovely and wonderful <3I had a couple of things happen on this trip that reminded me just how much my mom is still in my life. One of them was randomly finding this box filled with magazines that I had stories in. They were magazines I had either sent my mom because of my stories, or that she bought herself because I had stories in them. She had kept them all.I don’t always get to see old friends when I’m back, since I’m usually toting around three children and booked solid with family stuff. This visit gave me a little breathing room, so I was able to meet up for lunch with a bestie of mine from 3rd grade. Balmville for life. Balmville — my old elementary school — also welcomed me with open arms as their guest reader at their literacy night the Thursday I was back! It was so friggin’ cute I could barely stand it.My sister and I snuck away for a few hours on Friday for lunch and a massage. What a luxury!Look at this Hudson River view!The view from my sister’s new back yard isn’t too shabby, either!My aunt & uncle came over for dinner that Friday and we all cheers’d to my mom.On the Saturday before my mom’s actual anniversary we took Arabella to the flower shop, and she picked out some beautiful options that we added to Mooms grave. We miss you, Mom. Every day and all the time <3I spent Saturday night in the city — my happy place — and Robert was kind enough to drive me in. We played tourist for a bit before he dropped me at my hotel.Just a couple’a NYC tourists 😉We had a couple minutes before our Top of the Rock tour, so Robert and I grabbed a drink at an outdoor cart. When we sat down there was no music playing. About five minutes into our drinks, the cart owner started playing music, and his first song was “Unsteady,” by X Ambassadors. This song came out ten years ago, right around the time my mom died, and the words always reminded me of her. I remember being eight months pregnant, hearing the song come on the radio, and pulling over into a parking lot to bawl my eyes out listening to it. How this song came on — when no music was playing — when no one plays it anymore, right at that moment, sitting there with my stepdad … you can’t ever tell me our loved ones don’t stay with us when they leave this earth <3Top of the Rock has THE BEST views of the city. Period.I mean … swoon.Another relationship I cherish … my freshman year college roommate. Oy, what an emotional trip.I had Sunday morning — my mom’s actual anniversary — to myself in the city before I flew home in the afternoon. I grabbed coffee and a bagel from Grand Central and took a glorious walk through the insanely beautiful Central Park. Spring is here, things are blooming, and it was just what I needed.Just a quick note about the rooftop of the hotel where I stayed — Little Charlie Hotel in midtown. I mean … how stinkin’ cute is this! I would highly recommend this as a hotel for a solo traveler. My room was the definition of tiny, but it was so comfy and clean, and in a great location and they had a yummy breakfast included. 10/10.
Thank you, Mom, for all you did for us. I recognize it more and more as I get older and develop more of a relationship with my own kids. We’ll miss you forever, but you sure do a good job of reminding us that you’re still with us <3
